Topics Meeting-- January 19, 2006

I. And so it begins...

Washington Society Meetings, like all social gathers, have unofficial and official start times. The unofficial time starts with dinner, and lingers into the bodies that come walking into the hall from 7:45-8:10. This meeting followed that general template. People milled in the hall, sat on the stoop and, for those covert fellows, squeezing in through the side door.

Looking upwards, I was happy to see that the roof, as was reported earlier, was no longer suffering from a growing breach.


II. Meeting Opens

Ben openned the meeting; Gene knocked off the roll (without the roll book) and gave minutes of the following meeting.

a. Some of the Annoucments:
-Banquet is on Feb. 25th, costing $50/$55 dollars a peice
-Evan Monez's tall tale of how she got her arm-cast: high-speed police change; passenger pain; her amazing abilities of avoiding poles; the tradegy of malfunctioning automated doors.

III. Ben's Address

Ben gave an address to the Society (excerising his Constitutional duty to address the Society at any time). Note, this was not his inaugural address-- that was saved for the Chapel Meeting.

IV. Three Events

Mike Bartosch continued his role of the three events speaker (following in the steps of Meghan Sullivan, Keith White and Jim Kim, among others)

V. Literary Presentations Start Up

a. Tracey Grimm:
i. "College Finals from Hell"
This peice off the internet documented the horrors of finals by college major.
ii. "The Secret Life of a Squirrel" by Sam Howell
This peice documented, with an excellent dilivery, the hidden life of a member of the
memory-challenged squirrel family. Some lines:
"I am a stupid squirrel." (Envinced after becoming trapped in an empty trash can; failing to get food)
"I really need to get some nuts today." (Remember that he is, indeed, hungry and must
remember to eat.)
Fortunately the story was hilarious without it ending with the sorry fate of so many rodents: road-kill.

b. Chen Song

Chen read from the "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories" book. He showed the society a new take on "The Three Pigs." Some of the provocative lines Chen read with a smooth and rich voice were the following:

"A big bad wolf with expanionist ideas."
"Got to hell you carnivorous opressor."
"they sang songs of solidarity and wrote letters to the U.N."

The story ended happily, with the expanionist wolf getting his just desserts for all that heavy breathing and eating: sudden heart failure. But remember everyone, no real animals were hurt in this story. They were just merely "metaphorical constructs."

c. Jamie Trowbridge

Jamie read an one of his own works, "Choose your Own Language"

In it he provided the Society with an interesting introduction to Linguistic Theory. He discussed the role language plays in both framing and articulating thought. He utlized many oratorical techniques to keep the audience engaged and ready to hear more: from shout outs to Italians, smallpox, and Native Americans, linguistic terms and definitions, and a very unorthodox experiment using Gwen Kirk. I must say, Gwen responded with deadly force. Jamie, indeed, left the hall both enlightened and in stitches.

d. Vadim Elenev -- Bill Maher "New Rules"

Vadim ended the night by giving some recent words from Bill Maher. Some of the more protocative points were as followings:

i. "Massachusetes: Where the nation was born, but not your baby."
ii. New Rule: I'm not impressed by what college your kid is going to. George Bush went to Yale. The End. Besides, these days, kids only learn about two things in college: drugs and bisexuality. And you don't need to send them to college for that. You can send them to my house.

You can find them all at: http://www.hbo.com/billmaher/new_rules/

VI. Topics Debate: There is too much ice in the World

Government: Charlie Mason (PM) and Michelle Uterbrink (MG)
Opposition: Meg Olson (LO) and Trevor Dobson (MO)

Charlie openned the debate bemoaning his lot in life, arguing for a lost cause. This gambit paid off well: with Charlie disguising devasting points in the imprentrable guise of weakness. The lynch pin: Ice in alocholic drinks = less party.

Meg, though, was ready for any such mechination. She blasted the gov't points with her own: the growth of beach front property, the safety of Santa Claus from polar bears, and iced drinks.

Michelle delivered a cynical rejoiner, asking: who wants a Santa Clause that can't take on some polar bears? Furthermore, she reconstructed Charlie's case with devasting precision. And she closed: "You can't eat cake and have your ice too."

Trevor Dobson took Michelle on arguing: "What about icecream cake!" And then blasted through the points, arguing persuasively that beach front propery was in need.

Closings:
Meg gave a mathemtical demonstration point out that when circle expand area that their circumference expands too. This simple tactic took a harash floor speech to the ground.

Charlie came up, again arguing for the sancticy of parties and sanity to vote for his side.

The result: Opposition won.

VII. Closing and College Inn